


the tiime between when you wake up and when ii go two 2leep

by lasciviousLegislacerator (SqueakyFrancis)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Camming, Chatting & Messaging, Cybersex, M/M, Roleplay, Tentabulges, Texting, Webcam/Video Chat Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2018-04-11 05:07:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4422533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SqueakyFrancis/pseuds/lasciviousLegislacerator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Eridan and Sollux engage in one-sided cam/cyber sex respectively, and everyone’s typing skills gradually decline. Originally posted on Tumblr. Co-author credit (Eridan) goes to Levis Morbiform, who is not on AO3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the tiime between when you wake up and when ii go two 2leep

**TA:** hey  
**TA:** hey  
**TA:** ed  
**TA:** ed  
**TA:** wake up  
**TA:** ii want two talk two you.   
**CA:** wwhat the fuck do you wwant  
**TA:** two whii2per 2weet nothiing2 intwo your 2ponge clot.   
**CA:** wwhat okay youre creepin me out sol  
**CA:** again  
**TA:** oh ED, you're ju2t about the 2tupiide2t a22hole ii know. **TA:** when ii talk two you ii feel liittle piiece2 of my thiink pan dyiing.   
**TA:** and iit'2 fuckiing _fanta2tiic_.  
**CA:** oh my cod sol wwhy do you exist to fuckin torment me **TA:** diid you ju2t an2wer your own que2tiion? your a2iiniine quiirk 2ometiime2 make2 iit diifiicult two tell.   
**CA:** you are literally the biggest douche evver  
**TA:** _ii'm_ tryiing two be 2ociiable, but _you're_ not makiing iit ea2y.   
**CA:** howw in the holy fuck is this sociable  
**TA:** ii'm talkiing two you, aren't ii?   
**TA:** ii2n't that more than mo2t people wiill do?   
**CA:** okay fuck you  
**CA:** this isnt bein sociable its just needlin me  
**CA:** i wwas sleepin jackass  
**TA:** yeah and iit'2 already fiive p.m., tiime two wake up.   
**CA:** dont tell me wwhat to do you lowwblood landdwweller  
**TA:** ii'm ju2t tryiing two help you be le22 faiilure-iifiic.   
**TA:** early giillfucker catche2 the cuttlefii2h.   
**CA:** cod damn it wwhy are you evven up this early  
**CA:** youre like a drill to my think pan  
**TA:** hey ii've been waiiting two talk two you for an hour already.   
**CA:** are you fuckin kiddin  
**TA:** why do you leave your hu2ktop on when you're a2leep?   
**TA:** iit'2 not liike anyone talk2 two you anyway2.   
**CA:** i havve tabs open i dont wwant  
**CA:** fuck wwhy do you evven care  
**CA:** an plenty a people talk to me  
**TA:** becau2e you're the only per2on who wa2 onliine and ii'm bored.   
**TA:** ehehehe.   
**CA:** wwell go fuck your bees or somethin an leavve me alone  
**TA:** hey ii would never do that.   
**TA:** tho2e bee2 are cla22y.   
**TA:** iif we do anythiing we make love.   
**CA:** thats disgustin sol  
**TA:** iit'2 very 2en2ual.   
**CA:** completely disgustin  
**CA:** an fuck noww i havve images you fuckface  
**TA:** ehehehehehehe.   
**TA:** ii bet you liike them.   
**CA:** no i dont  
**TA:** you probably had eveniing bulge anyway2.   
**TA:** now you have 2omethiing two thiink about.   
**CA:** wwhy are you talkin about my bulge sol  
**TA:** becau2e iit'2 late and ii'm 2tartiing two get 2leepy.   
**TA:** 2oon ii miight be half a2 2tupiid a2 you are.   
**CA:** its early wwhat are you talkin about  
**TA:** 2ame diiff.   
**CA:** an that doesnt givve you an excuse to talk about my glubbin bulge  
**TA:** 2orry.   
**TA:** we can contiinue pretendiing you have no bulge.   
**TA:** ju2t liike everyone el2e doe2.   
**CA:** fuck an you  
**CA:** go eat mind honey you prick  
**TA:** ii'm not really 2ure what that wa2 2uppo2ed two mean.   
**TA:** and you 2houldn't eat miind honey, iit'2 bad for you.   
**TA:** diidn't your lu2u2 ever tell you that?   
**CA:** cod damn it sol its far too early for this shit is there somethin you wwanted or are you just here to get under my skin  
**TA:** ii gue22 the latter.   
**CA:** of course  
**TA:** though under your _2kiin_ miight be a biit deeper than ii wanted two go.   
**CA:** wwhat the hell does that mean bulgelicker  
**TA:** iit mean2 get on cam and 2triip for me, nookmuncher.   
**CA:** wwhat  
**TA:** or ii gue22 ii could ju2t turn iit on remotely, 2inc2e you probably ju2t came out of the 2opor.   
**CA:** wwhat  
**CA:** wwhat the fuck  
**TA:** ii liike iit when you 2ay the 2ame thiing twiice iin a row.   
**CA:** are you hittin on me or somethin sol  
**TA:** no.   
**CA:** good because it sure seems like it  
**TA:** ii'm ju2t bored and you're the only per2on onliine and ii don't feel liike lookiing for porn, and ii don't re2pect you enough two care iif ii 2ee you naked out2iide the quad2.   
**TA:** 2o get on cam and 2how me your fuckiing giill2liit2.   
**CA:** do you knoww howw pervverted it is to ask a sea troll to showw you their gillslits you fuckin disgust me im not gettin on cam im gettin dressed instead  
**TA:** no ii2 that really a thiing?   
**CA:** yes it is  
**CA:** not like you really care  
**TA:** ii thought ii 2hould try two woo you wiith the language of your people.   
**CA:** howw is this not hittin on me sol tell me that  
**TA:** becau2e iif ii wa2 hiittiing on you you'd already be iin my quadrant2 and on my 2creen.   
**CA:** i dont think so i dont wwant to be in your quadrants or on your screen so fuck you  
**TA:** ju2t go put your clothe2 on and get on cam.   
**CA:** wwhy do you wwant to see me so bad sol you arent doin somethin indecent are you  
**TA:** defiine iindecent.   
**CA:** you knoww wwhat i mean sol  
**TA:** ii don't beliieve ii do.   
**CA:** wwell then youre just goin to havve to be in the fuckin dark because i am not debasin myself for your glubbin amusement  
**TA:** that'2 two bad.   
**TA:** ii wa2 lookiing forward two my mock dii2gu2t.   
**TA:** ii had a "glory bee" pun planned out and ii wa2 goiing two clutch my pearl2 liike a proper seadweller.   
**CA:** wwhat are you evven talkin about sol for cods sakes if youre goin to go through the trouble of wwakin me up this early just to talk to me at least make some glubbin sense  
**TA:** what exactly are you confu2ed about?   
**CA:** oh jesus no just nevver mind lets movve on  
**TA:** no let'2 2tay riight here.   
**CA:** wwhat  
**CA:** look im fuckin tired sol youre going to havve to be less vvague  
**TA:** ii reiiterate: what exactly are you confu2ed about?   
**CA:** oh my cod it doesnt matter can wwe not do this  
**TA:** we're already doiing thii2.   
**TA:** miight a2 well get your que2tiion2 an2wered.   
**CA:** it doesnt  
**CA:** fuck fine  
**TA:** 2ooooo?   
**CA:** nevver mind i figured it out  
**CA:** look its early  
**CA:** givve me a break  
**TA:** fiigured what out?   
**TA:** iit'2 late.   
**TA:** ii'm confu2ed by your confu2iion.   
**CA:** jesus holy cod i didnt knoww wwhat you meant by your mock disgust an noww i do okay  
**TA:** oh for fuck'2 2ake.   
**TA:** ii 2ee.   
**CA:** i told you it didnt matter  
**TA:** well would you liike two a2k me that que2tiion agaiin then?   
**TA:** the previiou2 one that cau2ed all the confu2iion?   
**TA:** and maybe ii can giive you a more 2atii2factory an2wer thii2 tiime?   
**CA:** there wwas no question i just asked wwhat you wwere talkin about an noww i knoww  
**TA:** god damn you're even 2lower than u2ual at thii2 hour of the eveniing.   
**CA:** shut up shut up shut uuuuuup youre makin my think pan throb  
**TA:** ii'll help.   
**TA:** you a2ked me iif ii wa2 doiing iindecent thiing2.   
**CA:** right but i didnt actually wwant to knoww  
**CA:** i wwould prefer it if you kept pervverted things like that to yourself  
**TA:** then why diid you a2k?   
**CA:** because you wwere bein wweird an i suspected you might havve been but noww i changed my mind i dont wwant to knoww  
**TA:** well ii am.   
**TA:** would you liike two know what?   
**CA:** wwhat  
**CA:** no wwait that wwasnt  
**CA:** stop  
**TA:** ii thought you weren't iintere2ted.   
**TA:** but ii'll tell you anyway2.   
**CA:** stop typing  
**TA:** 2iince you a2ked.   
**CA:** stop it  
**CA:** dont  
**TA:** ii'm downloadiing troll hiitch.   
**CA:** thank cod  
**TA:** whiich ii2 goiing two be a fuckiing horrorterror.   
**TA:** but KK won't 2hut the fuck up about iit.   
**CA:** it wwasnt so bad  
**CA:** i like troll wwill smith  
**TA:** wow that'2 pretty lame but okay ii'll pretend you diidn't ju2t 2ay that.   
**TA:** becau2e iit would ruiin the next thiing ii wa2 goiing two 2ay.   
**CA:** wwhat  
**TA:** iif you were fiingeriing your nook on cam riight now ii would be doiing 2omethiing iindecent.   
**CA:** i  
**CA:** oh my cod  
**CA:** ww-wwhat  
**TA:** wwhat? am ii beiing confu2iing agaiin?   
**CA:** yes but in a much different wway  
**TA:** ii could try two be more expliiciit iif you want.   
**CA:** no cod dont  
**TA:** but we need two work on our communiicatiion ii22ue2.   
**CA:** wwhat are you glubbin talkin about sol youre freakin me out noww  
**TA:** oh my god iit'2 not that biig a deal.   
**TA:** ju2t forget about iit and go back two 2leep.   
**TA:** ii thiink ii'll head two the pod for the night/day two.   
**CA:** no fuck you you cant just say somethin like that an abscond  
**TA:** ii 2aiid (or iimpliied) iit almo2t half an hour ago.   
**TA:** ii 2iimply clariifiied it now.   
**TA:** there'2 no ab2con2iion goiing on here.   
**TA:** iit'2 ju2t about that tiime of the niight where ii head two the coon.   
**CA:** you stay right the fuck wwhere you are  
**TA:** ii gue22 iit wouldn't be the fiir2t tiime ii fell a2leep at my computer chaiir.   
**CA:** dont you glubbin fall asleep prick until you explain to me howw wwhat you just said wwas somehoww not hittin on me  
**TA:** ii already diid that.   
**TA:** or diid you forget.   
**CA:** no fuck you you cant just say somethin like  
**CA:** THAT  
**CA:** an then expect me not to react this wway  
**TA:** you're an attractiive troll.   
**TA:** a nookliickiing iidiiot who ii wouldn't want anywhere near my quadrant2.   
**TA:** but attractiive. even iif ii were bliind ii could 2ee that.   
**TA:** ii don't thiink there'2 anythiing weiird here.   
**CA:** you wwant to...  
**CA:** you cant just...  
**CA:** this sort of thing needs quadrants  
**CA:** thats wwhat theyre there for  
**TA:** boomiing pornography iindu2try beg2 two dii2agree.   
**CA:** i am not a porn star  
**TA:** 2ometiime2 a man ju2t need2 two fiill a paiil.   
**TA:** and hii2 briilliiant hacker friiend ju2t need2 two watch.   
**TA:** ii'd be doiing you a favor, really.   
**CA:** howw wwould you be doin me a favor i can do that on my owwn wwithout you wwatchin  
**TA:** iit would be the mo2t attentiion you've ever gotten.   
**TA:** e2peciially wiith your clothe2 off.   
**CA:** that isnt true douchelicker  
**TA:** oh yeah?   
**TA:** do tell.   
**CA:** a proper troll doesnt kiss an tell you ass  
**TA:** that'2 true but we both know you're not a proper troll.   
**CA:** fuck you  
**TA:** and that iif you actually triicked 2omeone iintwo touchiing you that everyone on planet would know the next niight.   
**CA:** fuck off  
**CA:** fuck off an die  
**TA:** 2o thiing2 never got that far wiith 2piiderbiitch, huh?   
**CA:** shut up sol youre fuckin pissin me off  
**TA:** ii'm beiing 2uper friiendly riight now.   
**CA:** you are bein the opposite of friendly you fuckin asshole  
**TA:** iif you want me iin a quadrant that'2 not the one two aiim for.   
**TA:** e2peciially after ii fiinii2h watchiing troll hiitch here. **CA:** i dont evven knoww wwhat to say to you right noww youre just so infuriating  
**TA:** and ii reiiterate agaiin: that'2 not really the quadrant you 2hould be aiimiing for.   
**CA:** im not aimin for any quadrant wwith you pissblood  
**CA:** especially noww that i knoww wwhat a glubbin slut you are  
**TA:** 2ay2 the troll who wa2 ju2t iin2iinuatiing that he got a lot of taiil (even iif he wa2 lyiing).   
**CA:** that wwasnt wwhat i wwas insinuatin an evven if it wwas said tail wwould havve all been in quadrants wwith me beforehand you pail-happy nubsucker  
**TA:** okay. watchiing you do thii2 iinternal "2hould ii or 2houldn't ii" bull2hiit wa2 funny at fiir2t but now iit'2 ju2t gettiing old, ii'm goiing two 2leep.   
**CA:** fine  
**CA:** i  
**CA:** ill do it  
**TA:** awww ii knew you could do iit.   
**TA:** ii'm 2o proud.   
**CA:** shut up dont make me regret this  
**TA:** cro22 my pump bii2cuiit and hope two diie.   
**CA:** i hope you die too  
**TA:** why do you have two be 2o cruel two me when ii'm only ever niice two you?   
**CA:** vvery funny sol  
**TA:** but 2eriiou2ly cut the kii2me2ii2 fliirtiing or ii'm not goiing two be able two concentrate.   
**CA:** im not flirtin  
**TA:** mmhmm.   
**TA:** ii'm gettiing bored agaiin, are you gettiing thii2 2et up or no?   
**CA:** yes shit my cam isnt evven hooked up just hold your hoofbeasts  
**TA:** ii'm holdiing 2omethiing.   
**CA:** oh cod  
-caligulasAquarium [CA] is inviting twinArmageddons [TA] to view their webcam-  
-twinArmageddons [TA] is now viewing caligulasAquarium's [CA]'s webcam-

Eridan appeared on cam, apparently nude though only visible from the waist up.

 **TA:** hey look at that.   
**TA:** giive u2 a 2miile, 2harktooth. 

Eridan bared his teeth.

 **TA:** awww cute.   
**CA:** fuck you  
**TA:** 2orry.   
**TA:** _2cary_.  
**CA:** dont  
**TA:** _very_ 2cary.   
**TA:** ii am hiighly iintiimiidated by your dii2play of 2uperiioriity.   
**CA:** you glubbin should be  
**TA:** ii could ju2t piinch your cheek2 2o you'd 2cowl at me liike that all day.   
**TA:** ii mean, cower iin a corner le2t you rend the fle2h from my pathetiic bone2.   
**CA:** cod i hate you so much right noww remind me wwhy im doin this again  
**CA:** no wwait dont  
**TA:** becau2e ii'm the only one around who'll tell you you have a niice che2t.   
**TA:** though ii'd liike two 2ee what el2e you have.   
**CA:** cod this is wweird  
**TA:** you have really broad 2houlder2.   
**TA:** not liike hor2efucker broad or anythiing.   
**TA:** but ii bet you could 2wiim pretty fa2t.   
**TA:** whiich ii al2o gue22 make2 2en2e.   
**CA:** yeah glubbin duh  
**TA:** you're kiind of riipply.   
**TA:** ii2 that a word one u2e2 two de2criibe mu2cular 2houlder2?   
**CA:** i dont knoww  
**TA:** a22ume iit ii2 and that you're flattered.   
**CA:** okay wwhatevver duly flattered then  
**TA:** well let'2 2ee what el2e you've got then.   
**CA:** wwhat do you mean... exactly  
**TA:** do ii really have two explaiin how thii2 work2?   
**CA:** look i just dont wwant to be presumptuous here okay i dont really knoww wwha  
**CA:** nevvermind wwhat do you wwant me to do  
**TA:** well ii expect 2ome fiinger2 iin your nook and a hand on your bulge eventually, but you can take the 2ceniic route two get there.   
**CA:** uh i might havve to do a little adjusting of the camera periodically then  
**TA:** nah ii've got that 2hiit covered.   
**CA:** wwhat do you mean  
**TA:** ii'll ju2t control iit my2elf.   
**CA:** you can do that?   
**TA:** you have one of tho2e fancy one2 with the motoriized panniing, riight?   
**CA:** yeah but i dont see  
**CA:** you knoww wwhat i dont wwant to knoww  
**TA:** ju2t have a liittle faiith.   
**CA:** fine wwhatevver  
**TA:** iif iit make2 you uncomfortable ii'll only pan around where you tell me two.   
**TA:** 2o ii won't dii2cover your 2ecret hiighblood trea2ure 2ta2h or 2omethiing.   
**CA:** there is no secret highblood treasure stash  
**CA:** shit is strewwn everywhere  
**CA:** like i care  
**TA:** yeah, ii can 2ee that.   
**TA:** 2o you're kiind of ju2t 2iitiing there naked.   
**TA:** whiich ii'm enjoyiing buuuut...  
**TA:** ii don't thiink you are.   
**CA:** uh yeah okay fine

Eridan worried at the inside of his lip with a sharp fang; a move that would hopefully go unnoticed by his obnoxious voyeur. He'd never played with his nook before, but he knew enough to know that he wouldn't be slipping anything into it if he wasn't aroused. Sollux's heckling hadn't helped him much on that front. Eridan put his hands on his sides, stroking up his gills slowly. He buried his fang deeper into his lip to keep himself respectably silent.

 **TA:** why mr. ampora that'2 extremely lewd.   
**TA:** lettiing a landdweller look at your giill2.  
**TA:** ii diidn't thiink they'd be 2o biig.   
**TA:** ii thought you guy2 ju2t had 2ome 2liit2 on your neck or 2omethiing.   
**CA:** no wwe havve these side gills wwhich are extremely sensitibbe  
**CA:** sensitivve*  
**CA:** fuck  
**TA:** typiing one handed ii2 hard.   
**CA:** yea,   
**TA:** 2o good 2en2iitiive huh?   
**TA:** liike iif ii wa2 there riight now ii could ju2t run my hand down your 2iide and you'd be cooiing iin my arm2?   
**TA:** that'2 pretty ~~cute~~ ferociiou2.   
**CA:** oh cod sol dont saystuff like that  
**TA:** but ii thiink you liiked iit.   
**CA:** nk  
**CA:** no*  
**TA:** but ii can 2ee you blu2hiing.   
**CA:** sshut up  
**TA:** you have a niice bone 2tructure.   
**TA:** the curve of your neck ii2 very graceful.   
**TA:** ii would run my biifurcated tongue along it untiil you 2quiirmed liike a lowblood.   
**CA:** ...  
**CA:** cod youre filtjy  
**CA:** filthy*  
**TA:** 2o what would iit feel liike iif ii ran my fiinger2 down your giill2, ever 2o liightly?   
**CA:** uufhg  
**CA:** uugh*  
**TA:** unf ii2 riight.   
**CA:** wwhy are you makin thi so hjard  
**CA:** this*  
**CA:** hard*  
**TA:** well 2omeone'2 got two make you hard.   
**TA:** ii would cup your giill2 gently iin my palm2 and feather kii22e2 in the crook of your neck and down your collarbone.   
**CA:** uuh jees

Though he was loathe to admit it, Sollux's heckling-cum-flirting coupled with the feeling on his gills was doing the trick. Eridan felt himself slickening.

 **TA:** 2o can ii 2ee that fii2h booty 2oon?   
**TA:** ii bet you have a niice a22.   
**TA:** ii'd put money on iit even.   
**CA:** wwehat imean i guess if you realy wwant  
**TA:** mmhmm. 

Eridan stopped stroking his gills so he could reposition himself precariously on the chair, arms over the back and backside turned to the camera.

 **TA:** pluuuuuuu2h.   
**CA:** sut up  
**CA:** typi backwars eve hardee  
**TA:** you 2hould take oof that cape 2ometiimee2  
**TA:** 2how off what your hiip2der deuce pant2 are hiidiing.   
**CA:** i lik my capew  
**CA:** im tunin nback aroun  
**TA:** 2o iif the giil2 aren't on your neck what'2 up wiith the 2carf?   
**TA:** and don't worry, ii'll remember that. 

Eridan sat back down.

 **CA:** i like scarvves   
**CA:** plus its cold as shit on the coast  
**TA:** ii bet you're cold a2 2hiit iin general.   
**TA:** ii2n't that liike a hiighbloo2d thiing?   
**CA:** i dont knoww its like a sea troll thing at least  
**TA:** aww ii'd let you wear me liike a cape ed, i could keep you warm.   
**TA:** unle22 you thiimk ii'm two hot for youu two handle.   
**CA:** oh please not evven  
**TA:** ii could drape my21ef around your back liike a 2quiindbea2t  
**TA:** nuzzle up in your haiir liine  
**CA:** sol youre...  
**CA:** jeez  
**TA:** whii2per 2weet nothiing2 2o my breath glanced oof the cu2p of yuor 2pogne clot  
**TA:** "oh ed, my piity for you ii2 a2 deep and boundle22 a2 the ocean2"   
**TA:** or 2omethiing equall2y pathentiic  
**CA:** knock it off wweirdo youre killin wwhat little mood there is  
**TA:** fiine hand2 off my keyb2oard from no2 on.   
**CA:** nos?   
**TA:** **now fuck you  
**CA:** haha  
**TA:** the key2 are clo2e twogether.   
**CA:** yeah they are  
**CA:** look do you wwant me to do somethin or somethin because im not really sure wwhat... to do i guess?   
**TA:** put your fliinger2 in your mouth  
**CA:** ookay

Eridan stuck two fingers in his mouth, careful not to filet them on his rows of sharp teeth.

**TA:** 2uck them and ket lme 2ee your tongue. 

Eridan did as he was told, sucking his fingers and swirling his tongue around them, letting it dart out between his lips frequently.

 **TA:** ii gue22 ii wiill refraiin froom commentiing what ii'd do wiith that mouth 2iinec ii'm kiilliing the mood here.   
**TA:** buut ii a22uere you iit would be diiryu.   
**TA:** **diirty  
**CA:** ...you can tel me if ya wwant i guses  
**CA:** guess*  
**TA:** ii would giive you a cha2te kii22 on hte seedflap2 and iit wourld be tendeer  
**TA:** we can 2ave the re2t for later  
**CA:** youtre wweird sometimes sol  
**TA:** ii would run my tongue2 twowfold agaijnst your shark teeth  
**TA:** whiich are very 2carey by thae way  
**TA:** and exterelmy inntiimiidatiing  
**CA:** mmphj  
**CA:** wwhart alse do you wwant me to do for you sol  
**CA:** i am an opem book here  
**CA:** haah  
**TA:** are your fiinger2 goond and wwte yet?   
**CA:** yes  
**TA:** then open your fancy fuckinh fii2n lkeg2  
**TA:** and 2pkread your nookliip2  
**TA:** but doont fiinger your2elf yea2t  
**TA:** **yet  
**TA:** juw2t run your fiinger2 around the out2iide. 

Eridan flushed and removed his fingers from his mouth. He spreads his legs and lowered his fingers to the entrance of his nook, spreading the lips like he was told and rubbing circles over the slick, outer flesh. He groaned at the feeling.

 **TA:** oh hye you do have a miic on that thiing  
**TA:** annd ii have two 2ay the piictuere qualiity ii2 reaoly excellent  
**TA:** ii can 2ee the liight gliint off the purplee runiing down your thiigh2  
**TA:** ehehehe  
**CA:** ahg sol shir trhis feels realy goodf  
**TA:** i wwii2h iio could liikc your leg2 clean  
**TA:** fliick my tongue over the out2iiide of oyour nook  
**CA:** oooh ccod  
**TA:** rub my no2e agi2nt the ba2e of your bulge  
**TA:** (niiiiiiiice by the way)   
**TA:** (never 2een fuckiin friil2 before)   
**TA:** before 2tiickiing my tongue iin t2o w2ee what you ta2te liike  
**TA:** ii'm goiing two venture a wiild gue22 and say "2alyt"   
**CA:** shiiiiit sol tjis is dirtyt  
**TA:** put one iin  
**CA:** fingre >?  
**TA:** do you have 2omethiing el2e?   
**TA:** much a22 iid love for your two be taljiing about one of my bulge2 riight now  
**CA:** mmph fione

Eridan hesitantly slipped a finger into his nook. Within a moment he let his eyes slide closed and had once again buried his teeth in his seed flap. That finger felt really fucking good.

 **TA:** oh cod ed  
**TA:** ii know you cant 2ee thii2 riight thii2 mmonet  
**TA:** but that fuckiin2 eyue flutter 2as juwt about the curte2et thiing ever  
**TA:** iid almiow2t beliieve youve never done thii2 befoee  
**CA:** rieght...  
**CA:** wwahtevver you sya  
**CA:** say*  
**TA:** telm ee what iit feel2 liike  
**CA:** it feels.. feles shitn sos good i never  
**CA:** uihh... imean  
**TA:** tiight?   
**CA:** yeess  
**TA:** you can fee2l int 2qqueeing on your finger2  
**TA:** **finger  
**TA:** ****fiinger  
**TA:** fuuuuck  
**CA:** haaha  
**TA:** ehe fuck you  
**CA:** wahts sqqueeing  
**TA:** **2queeziing  
**CA:** aah  
**TA:** ii'll 2h9ow you 2queeiing  
**CA:** mmphf  
**TA:** iid hook your leg32 oveer my shouldeer2  
**TA:** cuop your pluu2h ruump in my hand2  
**TA:** and hold you two me 2on ayou coul2n'dt 2quiirm when my tongue penetrated you  
**TA:** iit would be 2o cooold  
**TA:** but iia could warm you uop  
**CA:** ooooooh coodo  
**CA:** sool shhoit  
**TA:** two fiinger2  
**CA:** uhg k

The second finger didn't go in as easily as the first. Eridan felt a brief twinge of pain, but it wasn't enough to keep him from moaning loudly.

 **TA:** cad ed  
**TA:** **cod  
**TA:** ii w02ld shoove my tongue down your throuhwt ju2t two 2huut you up  
**CA:** hngfuck yuo  
**TA:** that wouled bee the ii2dea  
**CA:** uhg  
**TA:** heey do me a faavor  
**CA:** wwaht  
**TA:** do that "come here you lowb2ollod fiithl" thiing wiith your fiinger2 whiiler they're iin there  
**CA:** ...rfien  
**CA:** *fine  
**TA:** **fin  
**CA:** ha ah ha

Eridan crooked his fingers inside his nook and arched into the touch, groaning as he did so.

 **TA:** ehehehe  
**TA:** hnad pon your bugle

Eridan grasped his squirming bulge. The dual sensations overwhelmed him and he couldn't suppress a (very intimidating) whimper.

 **TA:** god iiw ould loove two get a buulge iin2iide of you  
**TA:** have you straadleing my lap  
**TA:** pull yo udo2n wiit your hip2  
**CA:** yeeeeswe  
**CA:** fuucfk  
**TA:** hand3 badk on thje bulge  
**TA:** nngh  
**TA:** two feel you arowund me  
**TA:** eveen iif youw re a coold fii2h iin bed  
**TA:** ahhaeheheh  
**CA:** jessys cod cnaat you lay offo the snark nfor two secinds  
**TA:** no.   
**TA:** fiinger2 outnre of your nok and back iin your mouth  
**TA:** tell me what you t2ate liikje  
**CA:** wwhat  
**TA:** do iit  
**CA:** but  
**TA:** ple2e  
**CA:** fuck fin  
**CA:** fine*  
**TA:** **me  
**CA:** donot  
**CA:** ass  
**TA:** ii would

Eridan slips his fingers out with a sigh (which not even he could quite pin as pleasure or frustration) and raised them to his lips. He took a tiny lick at first before slowly sucking them into his mouth.

 **TA:** uumnf  
**CA:** tastes salty butnot just that  
**CA:** its got a wwried tang to it  
**CA:** tastes gooood  
**TA:** ii beet  
**TA:** now 2teel me nhow much you want me ijn yiour nook  
**CA:** ufn soo baadly sol i can heardly stand it  
**TA:** tell me what ayou rawant me two doo  
**CA:** i wwnat yoi to rtaste how good i am an thne fuck me raw with your bulge  
**TA:** **bulge2  
**CA:** whant  
**TA:** ii doubtre thay woau;d fiit thougrh  
**CA:** wwhat*  
**TA:** 2oo i gue22 iif had ve two take one my2le,f  
**CA:** wwhat  
**TA:** dude youre kiilling the nmood  
**CA:** sorru  
**CA:** wwaht do you wwnat me to do noww  
**TA:** riide my fuckiing beulfge  
**CA:** mmoh wwoukld if you were here  
**TA:** but ii g uee22 that'2 not goiing two happen  
**TA:** 2o you 2uould prolably put your fiinger2 back

Eridan took his fingers out of his mouth and put both of them back into his nook, whining a bit in the back of his throat.

 **TA:** oh edd  
**TA:** iif ii wereht ehte ii would paiil ytou 2o fuckiing tenbderly you couldn't 2tannd it  
**TA:** we would liie on our 2iides face two face 2io yoiu could 2tare at my buaetifull eyue2  
**TA:** ehehehe  
**CA:** fffno dnot be gentel  
**TA:** ii w92old bru2h my 22edflapp2 again2t your2  
**TA:** run my thumb oveer2 your faciial fiin  
**CA:** sssstoop  
**CA:** uugnk  
**TA:** before ruuniing my hand down your siiid2e sloooo22wlly  
**CA:** pphh fick  
**TA:** 2troocking your giil2 wiith my fiingertiip2  
**CA:** aashg  
**TA:** untiol ii got two your a22  
**TA:** ii'd giive iit the liight2tsw liite tap  
**CA:** wwhat haha  
**TA:** reemiiind you thii2 ii2n't going doown the way you want  
**TA:** crookm your leeeg over my hiip  
**TA:** fliick thje out2iiife of your nook with the itiip oof my buulge untiil you were beegiing me foor it  
**TA:** and ii 2tiil wouldn'ttt  
**TA:** uuntiiil you were whiimpperring  
**TA:** and iid kiii2 you two shuut you up  
**TA:** a22 i roocked my hiip2 intwo you  
**TA:** annd 2heeeathed my buugle in your driipping nook  
**TA:** and you';d want it2 2oo bad  
**TA:** you'd bee reay  
**TA:** ready  
**TA:** fuckl  
**CA:** aaahaha i am at yuor mercy sool  
**CA:** but yourre crruels  
**TA:** ehehthethe  
**TA:** fuck you  
**CA:** you wwish  
**TA:** ii'm waxiing pooentic abouut paiiling you over here and yiu have two bee a diick  
**CA:** yeeah fyck woouldnt wwant yuo to be gentel an you knoww it  
**TA:** whate iif i did?   
**CA:** did wwhat  
**TA:** want two be gente;   
**CA:** ......  
**CA:** d0 you  
**TA:** iil fuick your woorld siidewaaays2  
**TA:** 2naap intwo you fa2ter than you can fuuckijng keep upp  
**TA:** thru2it my other buulge iin beforee you're eeven loo2e enough fooor the fiir2t one  
**TA:** ruun my claaa2d down your fuuckiiing uglly fii2h giil2 uuntil they're 2liich wiith viiolet  
**TA:** ii2 that what you want?   
**CA:** mmeyeeah fuck sool  
**TA:** mmph  
**TA:** hmmph.   
**CA:** igh do yoi rrelly wwan t to be gentle wwitj me  
**TA:** would that really 2uck?   
**CA:** ...no  
**TA:** you're kiind of beautiiful.   
**CA:** thanks i find yoi to eb... exotic  
**CA:** i like ti  
**TA:** thank2.   
**TA:** ii thiink that wa2 2uppo2ed two be flatteriing.   
**CA:** yeah jsut take what you can get hahaaaa  
**TA:** focu2 here, ii want two talk two you two handed. 

Eridan sighed (definitely frustration this time) and removed his fingers from his nook.

 **CA:** okay  
**TA:** noooooooooo  
**TA:** that'2 2o totally not what ii meant.   
**TA:** ii can waiit.   
**CA:** ugh youre confusin an noww its all ovver the keyboard  
**TA:** ehehehe.   
**TA:** ii gue22 ii'll have two come fiix iit for you 2ometiime.   
**CA:** hah yeah i guess  
**TA:** fiinger2 back iin your nook, ED.   
**CA:** k

Eridan put his fingers back in their place.

 **TA:** plumb your iicy depth2 and 2uch.   
**CA:** haah  
**TA:** you're cute when you're flu2hed.   
**CA:** i knowww  
**CA:** haha  
**TA:** ii mean iintiimiidatiing.   
**CA:** yeeyeeh  
**TA:** vvery vvery iintiimiidatiing.   
**CA:** mmhm  
**CA:** shti this fee;s so good yio know w ivve enever playde wwith this before  
**TA:** yeah ii wa2 2ort of gettiing that iimpre22iion.   
**CA:** nhah im obvvios  
**TA:** well 2iince iim lame and now have the full u2e of both hand2.   
**TA:** ii gue22 ii'd better wriite you 2ome tender fuckiing 2mut.   
**CA:** mmok  
**TA:** haviing had two much of your tiight nook, more than ii could ever handle, and 2pilled my 2eed all over your 2tomach (ehehehehe) ii gue22 ii would have two pull you clo2e two me, forehead two forehead  
**TA:** crook my arm under your 2iide  
**TA:** and 2troke your neglected giil2  
**TA:** whiile my other hand 2pread your leg2  
**TA:** pre22ed my palm again2t your bulge  
**TA:** untiil my fiinger2 were poii2ed over your nook  
**TA:** needy and already driippiing wet and 2treaked wiith vviiolet and yelloww  
**TA:** and ii would 2troke you iin2iide  
**TA:** feeliing your wall2 a2 they clutched around me  
**TA:** a2kiing for more  
**CA:** ahaa cood  
**TA:** and ii would whii2per more 2weet nothiing2 two you  
**TA:** liike  
**TA:** ED, ii really do kind of piity you.   
**CA:** mmphh i dnot wwhty wwoudl you say that  
**TA:** yeah ii don't know  
**TA:** ii gue22 ii'd be lo2t iin the moment.   
**CA:** sol...  
**TA:** "when ii fiir2t 2aw you ii got lo2t iin your eye2" and all that  
**TA:** ED.   
**CA:** soooll...  
**TA:** that'2 riight  
**TA:** moan my name whiile you pail, fii2hface.   
**CA:** fucj ni liisten  
**TA:** what?   
**CA:** ami not turnin yuo on any,mroe  
**TA:** no you're doiing great.   
**CA:** toouch yuirself  
**CA:** pleaase  
**TA:** ii don't thiink you get what ii mean.   
**CA:** whaaart  
**TA:** you totally do iit for me.   
**TA:** diid iit for me.   
**TA:** iif you get my driift.   
**CA:** haaaha rrelly i betterb hurry ab cathc up then  
**TA:** well ii'm 2tiill enjoyiing the 2how.   
**TA:** ii'll fiile iit away iin my thiink pan.   
**CA:** mmmphn fuuck ji cnat im giiona fiinish soom  
**TA:** ii'll enjoy that two. 

Eridan whimpered and increased the speed of his fingers plunging into his nook. He wrapped his bulge around his hand and wrist, squeezing and relaxing it over and over. There was already a bucket under his desk, which he toed closer to his chair. His face and chest were flushed a deep violet as he added a third finger to his nook, and crooked his digits inside of himself. After only a few more strokes he could no longer contain himself and he moaned out Sollux's name while he spilled his genetic material into the bucket.

 **CA:** qeoqer],pqnnm ,kqe  
**TA:** holy 2hiit ED.   
**TA:** that wa2... 2weet.   
**TA:** ... ...   
**TA:** <3  
**CA:** ...... <3  
**TA:** fuckiin' 2woon.   
**CA:** i knoww im such a charmer  
**TA:** yeah when you don't talk two much.   
**CA:** haha ass  
**TA:** you have a cute butt.   
**CA:** coood shut it  
**CA:** i have an intimidating butt  
**TA:** ii'm 2ure you could crack my pii22blood bone2 ju2t by flexiing iit.   
**CA:** you got that right  
**TA:** could we not do thii2 riight now?   
**CA:** do wwhat  
**TA:** go back two beiing 2narky.   
**CA:** i dont wwant to  
**CA:** i wwas tryin to be funny  
**TA:** hmm  
**CA:** wwhat  
**TA:** ju2t hmm.   
**TA:** ii'm tryiing two fiigure out iif ii'm the one fuckiing thii2 up.   
**TA:** ii probably am.   
**CA:** someone is fuckin somethin up?   
**TA:** ii'm depre22iing my2elf.   
**CA:** stop it then  
**TA:** okay.   
**TA:** ii'll try.   
**CA:** you should  
**TA:** were you beiing 2eriiou2?   
**CA:** about?   
**TA:** never miind.   
**CA:** no fuck that  
**CA:** tell me  
**TA:** iit'2 really not iimportant.   
**TA:** ii wa2 ju2t beiing 2tupiid.   
**CA:** i wwill make high-pitched noises into the mic i swwear to cod  
**CA:** tell me  
**TA:** plea2e don't.   
**TA:** ii'm kiind of prone two miigraiine2.   
**CA:** then you better tell me  
**TA:** ii wa2 ju2t...  
**TA:** fuck  
**TA:** ii don't know  
**TA:** <3?   
**CA:** <3  
**TA:** ?   
**CA:** haha i dont hate you sol  
**TA:** ??   
**CA:** i pity your stupid ass there you can make fun of me  
**TA:** fuck that.   
**CA:** sorry...  
**TA:** ii meant ii'm not goiing two make fun of you.   
**CA:** youre not?   
**TA:** no diip2hiit.   
**CA:** wwhy not?   
**TA:** becau2e then you'll never let me paiil you tenderly.   
**CA:** are you insinuating something here sol  
**TA:** ii don't thiink ii'm iin2iinuatiing anythiing anymore.   
**TA:** ii already wrote iit.   
**CA:** yea thats wwhat i thought  
**TA:** but ii'll 2ay iit twiice.   
**TA:** "[6:52:22 AM] twinArmageddons: ED, ii really do kind of piity you."   
**TA:** al2o ii feel liike that liine about my piity for you beiing a2 deep and boundle22 a2 the 2ea? ii feel liike that wa2 kiind of wa2ted iin the moment.   
**CA:** haha youre vvery poetic i am not so poetic but  
**CA:** i pity you 'twwo' sol  
**TA:** aww that wwa2 pretty endeariing.   
**CA:** i try  
**CA:** but uh you knoww  
**CA:** i do like it rough sometimes...  
**TA:** ii can work wiith that.   
**TA:** well iif thii2 ii2 hone2ty hour then ii 2hould probably 2ay...  
**TA:** ii wa2n't jokiing about the bulge2 twofold thiing.   
**TA:** 2o ii gue22 iif you don't want two be iin a quadrant wiith a mutant now would be a good tiime two break my collap2iing and expandiing aquatiic ba2ed va2cular 2y2tem.   
**CA:** yea lets be honest i think evveryone knowws  
**TA:** that'2 totally not true.   
**CA:** oh its so true sol come on wwith your wweird double tongues it wwas sooo obvvious  
**CA:** not that its bad  
**TA:** ii don't know.   
**TA:** iit looked liike kiind of a tiight fiit.   
**CA:** you dont havve to put them both in at once  
**TA:** go2h ii diidn't know hiighblood2 were famiiliiar wiith the concept of takiing turn2.   
**TA:** 2orry, 2nark off.   
**CA:** haha its fine your snark is cute  
**TA:** **iintiimiidatiing  
**CA:** i wwas just about to say that  
**TA:** 2o ii al2o wa2n't kiidiing that ii haven't gone two 2leep yet twoday.   
**CA:** wwhy do you stay up so late  
**TA:** ii don't know.   
**TA:** becau2e ii hate my2elf ii gue22.   
**TA:** ehehehe.   
**CA:** don't  
**TA:** okay  
**CA:** wwell you should get some sleep then  
**TA:** ii 2hould.   
**TA:** ii'll be back iin liike two hour2...  
**TA:** ii mean  
**TA:** iif you wanted two talk more.   
**CA:** of course i do  
**TA:** good night  <3  
**CA:** good day  <3

**Author's Note:**

> God, that redrom ending was a real cop-out, wasn't it? This little text RP actually spun into a 50,000+ word AU. That will not be posted here, I'm afraid.


End file.
